It has been a year of unravelling.
A year of goodbyes, of seeing things depart. It has been a year of finding others. Of seeing through darkness. Of wishing on stars. It has been a year of seeking. Of finding old friends. It has been a year of beginning. Not once but again and again and again. It has been a year of thinking things over. Of letting hope come closer.
It has been a year of finding faith fleeing through the back door, knowing you might never know the way. Or what it’s all for.
It has been a year of realisation. Ripe with longing and seeking adventure. A year of finding that where we lose ourselves, is where we find one another. It has been a year of understanding that what is deserving is not always right.
It has been a year of resurrecting dreams by candle light.
It has been a year of surrender, of not letting the mind vanquish the heart. A year of feeling yourself come together by letting it all fall apart.
It has been a year learning what it means to feel alone. It has been a year of waiting. Waiting for the words that bring us back home.
It has been a year of holding out through pain and hurt and sadness for truth. A year of knowing that despite this heartache, this loss, despite everything – that love is an endless pursuit.
Along the River Cam
I walk down to the river,
past trees unkept and life unfurled
I walk down to the gifts
That grow in an ever present world.
I walk down past the river
where untidiness begets place
And all around
Into a touching, windswept grace.
I walk past the river,
And catch the water’s ebb and flow,
and I find the most miraculous living of life as we feel it,
so instant and great and inner – so gentle.
Eyes nestle and abide here
Subtly by the creek
Where the aspect and the water
Contour by divinity and meet.
I stop at the river’s border,
And feel an inkling from the sky.
I feel messages that trickle easefully into us
When we cease looking,
when we forget to try.
Like rivers, we meander,
and lean across to touch
one another’s branches,
following the trickle,
the fall of water,
carrying the time
that passes into us.
we live in the movement that moors us,
We merge with new sediment, and collect,
as love does.
we carry droplets of lost places,
we keep flowing into movement
so that we do not become lost in past,
or buried in pain.
The water gives us each these moments:
through conduits we can’t see
in the flowing river of change.
The Path of Sadness
In the intermittent light,
a sadness comes,
yet old and frail.
Though it seems intent on you
it has been worn by many others
to tell this tale.
Like thawed water,
that lands on your window’s edge
and spreads out into frost,
It may warm you just a little to know
sadness can only reach you
by passing through other heart’s
landing in you
over so many other threshold’s crossed.
The poetry this week was inspired by the winter solstice. The solstice is a time to slow down, to incubate our inner light. It is a time to process the year, with its invariable combinations of rifts, gifts and challenges. It is a time to feel things slowly and with compassion.
Sending you all love for the New Year, and I am looking forward to sharing with you new stories, old poems and ever evolving thoughts in 2020.
*This piece was initially written on New Year’s Eve 2019.